finding loveIt’s Never too Late to Find Love for the First Time Around

Several months ago I wrote about finding love for the second time around. But I neglected to mention the folks, who despite having searched for many, many years, still haven’t really found it for the first time around. Like me.

Below is a cautionary tale with a fairytale happy ending.

My dating story starts at 16 when I went to the Ring Dance with Anthony. I’ve been dating pretty steadily ever since, going out with men I’ve worked with and guys I’ve met at bars, trying blind dates and even a pricey dating service.  While I’ve dated two men for three years each, most of my other relationships haven’t passed the three-month mark. Either I lost interest in the man or he lost interest in me.

Time to make a change

On one of my many online dating adventures, my sister finally decided that perhaps I didn’t really know what I wanted or more importantly what was best for me. Maybe I was even providing an inaccurate picture of myself to prospective suitors. She decided to help me write my profile and then vet the candidates. Although I trusted her in most everything else, I wasn’t sure I trusted her with my heart. But I knew I had to do something differently or else give up on my happy ending altogether.

To speed up this tale (you don’t really want to know about all the frogs), her help writing my profile and screening the men who “came calling” led to me meeting someone. At first glance, he wasn’t what I considered my type. He wasn’t a moody artist. He wasn’t free-spirited. He wasn’t off-center. But he did have a million other qualities that were pretty refreshing. Like he shared my interests and priorities and wanted to spend time with me. He understood my idiosyncrasies and embraced them. He smiled at me … even when I wasn’t smiling at him. He said the right thing, almost every single time.


Who can fall in love with a type anyway?

It was then that I started to realize that the type I always thought would make me happy only did so in the short term … right up to the point that those same qualities started to make me crazy. Not to mention that I was generally impersonating some other girl to try to hook that guy (and it is both uncomfortable and exhausting to be someone you’re not for much more than three months).


Now for the happy ending!

The guy who wasn’t my type instead turned out to be my prince, my best friend … and my love. He proposed and we’re getting married this year!

The moral of this cautionary tale is having a type, a checklist or a vision of the person you’re supposed to love is the quickest way to not find that person. Toss out the preconceived notions and the fairytale ending could be yours, too!

Are you still looking for love? Tell us what has worked for you in our comments section.


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